Reasons why you never want to get close to a former love
I’ve written this blog entry last July 26, 2010, I recently opened it again due it was recently read by someone special to me and asked me about it. I think I’ve wrote this during my “EMO” days or the day I got dumped the third time by the same girl, it’s funny but I think t made me stronger as a person. I’m also not affected by the situation of the past and I wanted to post this again to give others a point of view of my experience and maybe they could benefit or learn a lesson about my life story.
you could check the link on my facebook page, here is the link: http://www.facebook.com/notes/roy-reyes/reasons-why-you-never-want-to-get-close-to-a-former-love/10150214722815043
well here is the blog entry revisited:
Sounds like a bitter statement but in fact it is not, it’s just a reminder to me not to get attached with someone I courted or I used to fell in love with. Why? Simple I don’t want old feelings resurfacing again, I don’t want to be an another stupid person doing things that she wants, changing myself to something I’m not and trying to please her to the extent of losing myself completely. I don’t want to end up all beaten up again and eventually another scar on my heart. I never said that I would hate them, I’m just simply avoiding them for the reason that I said earlier. I want something that is real and I don’t want to end up giving everything I can and in the end it was all for nothing. I really have poor judgment when it comes to this kind of things.
A friend of mine asked why I did nothing to impress someone I like during our trip. She said that I have too many chances to impress her and all I did is do nothing. All I can say to friend is I’m not required to do those things, but the reality is that I don’t want to fall for her again. I made a mistake like that before and eventually got me hurt not one, not twice but thrice that is how pathetic I am when I fall for someone. I lose my logic and eventually I turn to a machine that is made to do her all bidding, I tend to forget how she hurt me and just like that I became her puppet, her personal clown to make her happy with my every bit of misery. I want to have serious relationship built on trust and not being someone’s slave. And another reason why I never tried to be the knight in shining armor is that I know she is still not over with her ex, I never want to the rebound guy or rather if we did become a couple I don’t want to have the suspicion that every time that we are not together she is with her ex. I don’t want that feeling I tend to be too violent and eventually I don’t have my judiciousness to do anything.
I’ve been on dates with someone I courted before, and the only time I really get aggravated is when she compares me with her exes, at first I thought it’s just a notion for me to be better but whenever she brings that topic up it really puts me down. There are times that I want to blurt out:” There’s a reason why they are your exes right? “But I can’t I love her that much and eventually I lean to just let it pass.
Another instance is that I want to date this certain person, I really like her and once we are in a group she is really friendly and nice, but that thing I hate most about her is that when she is paired with me she always make really irritable comments which is really damn hurtful and the thing hate most is that she does not seem to really care if I get hurt. Another thing is that when we are alone she changes to another person, she is very cold and seems to be irritated when I’m alone with her and that really gets me insanely mad. But I can’t hurt her and that is my problem. I always said that I will never fall for someone who is not within my standards but judging by me previous endeavors I always compromise I tend to forget my standards because I really like them that much.
This is the only reason I can think of so that I can never fall for them again is to avoid them. I don’t want to have a reason again for me to fall for them again. I’m that gullible and people tend to abuse it. I want an equal relationship and based from my past experiences that will never happen if I fall for them again.
Right now I am happy; I still have my friends to back me up. I enjoying life right now, even though they are pushing me to have a relationship ASAP, and they want the best for me, I think I still need to find that perfect girl. I know they are trying to push me to make a move again on our common friend but for the reasons stated above are hard for me to do so. All I want is to be happy and I pursue her, I think I will eventually be hurt again and I’m tired of getting hurt. I just want to be happy for once and let it be and just let her do mistakes, she is already an adult and she should know that her actions will always have repercussions. It’s good thing I’m a pessimist I always think of the worst things that could happen before I make my move and if I simulated that I can never survive the after effects of my actions then I won’t do it. I want my life to be better not worse so I’m doing what I want and try to stay happy for me and not for someone else. I deserve to be happy even just this once.
ID Concept
An Idea popped into my head months ago that I need to create an ID for my freelance venture, so I designed one and I never really have this printed; but it looks great for my taste:
CARTOON SD TRIP
Way back on my college days I was fan of the TV commercial of studio 23, the BARKADA TRIP so during our thesis I decided to make one for our presentation. The artwork clicked and soon I found myself having to deal with numerous request for their avatars. I really missed sketching so I intend to create one this week, here are some of my artworks way back 2005 – 2008, please be bear with me this was my earlier works, I think I’ve already improved over the years:
2005:
2008:
SPI OLYMPICS 2012
From The Holiday Inn with my fellow Limers to the rainy fun run till the 1st games of the season
“The Fairy” Zyryz Lofiel Photoshoot
My god daughter’s photoshoot;
Finally finished the concept art after a long time of waiting for the schedule to be available for the shoot
Initially the plan was for my God Daughter “Zoe” to pose the same way as her mother wearing a different dress, but since she is very active and still just an infant, it’s hard for me to ask her to pose the same way her mother is posing right now on the shot below. We decided to compromise and have both parents pose for the shot but his father is still asleep that time and doesn’t want to be bothered so opted for her mother to pose instead. I think It looks great on my end
Here is the Concept Art for my God Daughter:
here are the source shots for the concept art:
“The Fairy” Zyryz Lofiel Photoshoot Teaser Pics
My god daughter’s photoshoot; Finally finished the concept art after a long time of waiting for the schedule to be available for the shoot,
Here are the Teaser Shots:
“The Fairy” Zyryz Lofiel Photoshoot BTS
My god daughter’s photoshoot; Finally finished the concept art after a long time of waiting for the schedule to be available for the shoot, here are the BTS (behind the scenes) pictures:
Green Day + Burger Day
August 1, 2012 – new month and the operations decided to treat the agents with a burger for each agents
Smiles on the floor even though the weather is harsh
check out my facebook page also : http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151064032507492.465210.547987491&type=1
Portraiture Photography Class
We are currently studying lighting for portraits and here are some of my shots for the class :
“Sunflower and the Bee” – Baby Reese’s Photoshoot
Final Pics, for my very 1st commissioned photoshoot, Thanks for trusting Ms. Judith in taking pics of your baby 😉
“Sunflower and the Bee” – Reese Photoshoot BTS
Final Pics, for my very 1st commissioned photoshoot, Thanks for trusting Ms. Judith in taking pics of your baby 😉
Here are the behind the scene shots:
Will upload the final pics later or check out this link:
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151017039947492.459383.547987491&type=1
The New Blue Lycans Batch 81
The new Blue Lycans, new batch, new people to get along with, new people to get to know
Team Manila Basketball jersey design
Just finished designing the jersey for our team and also modified the old Team Manila Logo for the upcoming sports fest:
the logo looks great I think,
check out the designs I made so far:
The Zombie Effect- New Concept Project
I was on our team outing last Saturday when I decided to document our trip some photos, and one of my agents decide to do a wacky shot that day, I just receive a pm from asking if I could modify the picture to look more of a zombie since he already it a profile pic already, I decided to do it just for the fun of it and I think it looks great
Original Pic:
Profile Pic that has been cropped and for post editting:
The finished product is already posted above 🙂
Sampaguita Beach Resort Bauan Batangas Outing
This is a scheduled outing for my team, Batch 79, it was already plotted last February and everyone is excited to be in this event. It was supposed to be held at Tingloy, Batangas but due to the typhoon Butchoy we had to relocate the event to an another location. We settled for plan B which is Sampaguita Beach Resort in Bauan, Batangas. The main problem was we are not complete, we are missing 3 people on our team due to certain circumstances. But Still we had fun and that’s important in this event 
Independence Day 2012 Photo shoot
Just woke up after resting from my trip to Luneta Park earlier.
It has been a challenging day for me due to I had been on the office since 6PM yesterday and my shift ended around 6 AM, and after that I still need to go to the Rizal Park to take shots for my photography class.
Well it has been a fun day but still my body cannot take the pressure of no sleep so I decided to go home earlier than expected end time of the shoot.
The saddest thing is that didn’t got to shoot the fireworks due to it will start around 5PM and my eyes are already begging me to close them up.
I decide to go home and sleep and try to go back at around 6PM but after waking up and looking at the clock right now it’s already beyond 9 PM, so I really missed out on the fireworks, it’s too bad and I felt disappointed also. t
well here are the pics I’ve taken earlier, I really disappointed also that the president is not available during this event but I will try to attend next year’s celebration instead to make up for this event
The Amazing Spider-man Inspired Shoot
It’s almost the release of the movie here in our country so I decided to create a new profile pic and cover for my Facebook account to emphasize that how much of a fan I am of the Amazing Spider-man.
What I did is to visualize the concept and come up with a pose for the concept shoot. I’t more like a semi cosplay shoot. Once I have the concept I searched for the costume of the new Spider-man over the net and check out some of the shots of Andrew Garfield whose playing the role of Peter Parker. Once I’ve seen the preview stills I’ve tried to search some of the clothes that can make me look like the one on the movie. I had to improvise some of the costume like the jacket and the shirt. I’ve tried looking for a costume here in our country but the design really sucks so I have to improvise it on the post production editing later and opted to use my Red Spider-Man T-shirt instead. Once I had the costume ready I had to style my hair to the same hair style Andrew Garfield is sporting so that I could be in Character for the shoot. I’ve set up my tripod and used my DSLR camera to take the shot using the concepts I’ve learned during my photography class. At the start of the shoot , the weather looks great but as time goes by the weather becomes gloomy and had to compensate the shutter speed in order for the shot not to be under exposed. Due to the compensation it’s hard to pose for a long time since I’ve set the camera on timer and I’ve struggling to find the best pose for the concept art.
I’ve realized now that it’s hard to be the photographer and the model at the same time.
But even though it’s hard, I think the end result looks great
Peter Parker in Manhattan
Peter Parker in New York:
Settings and details of the shoot:
- Camera Make: Canon
- Model: Canon 600D 18-55 kit Lens using default 10 second timer
- Shutter Speed:1/5 second
- Aperture:F/5.0
- Focal Length:29 mm
- ISO Speed:400
- Date Taken: June 5, 2012 5:32 PM
- Software:Adobe Photoshop CS3 Windows / Adobe Lightroom 2
- Model: Roy Reyes
- Stylist: Roy Reyes
- Background: Random Manhattan Pictures searched from google
Behind the Scene shots:
Rose Anne Art Design Request
request made by my friend Rose Anne, she wants a Pink Cow Girl art design, I promised her that I’ll finish it this week but eventually I decided to sketch and color the layout layout last night, looks great I think I hope that she will love it
Eco Park Class Shoot
During the RMEVS batch 71 field trip class in Eco park, tried taking shots using film and digital. I still haven’t got the film developed but I’ve already tried practicing preset technique and also selective shooting. Also I’ve tried using the old analog film camera’s lens to my Canon 600D to check the difference between lenses.
Quezon Outing May 16-18, 2012
During the post birthday celebration of my friend lovely, a mini reunion of my former team and hang out at the beach
Chillax mode
Tried practicing what I’ve learned on my class during our outing, all shots are taken using the manual settings of my Camera
The Patriotic T-Shirt Design Project
bluespecter 